I
clearly recall it was Thursday, everyone here in the office were excited
for much awaited long weekend. Off the hectic schedule and festive
mood, I decided to stay offline
during this period. No to phone, surfing, Google, Facebook, Whatsapp and no WORK too!
Day
one started. I realized I was all by myself. Almost immediately my
heart skipped a beat and I felt a moment of fear where I thought I
was alone. But I quickly overcame it because I felt my blood rush
with excitement and curiosity, thinking about the brand new chapter
of my life that was about to begin.
Don’t
get me wrong, I am not a loner or a sociopath. I am a very bubbly
person who loves chattering away and hanging out with people and then
there’s no stopping me. But sometimes I just love to be in
solitude. Yes, that’s what I am talking about.
“Solitude”,
not loneliness.
Let
me clear you here, Solitude is when you make a choice to be away from
everyone so you can be with yourself. When you do not depend on
anyone or anything for your happiness. Loneliness unfortunately is
not in your hands. It’s not for nothing that they say “Learn to
enjoy your own company” because if you try it, it sure is a lot of
fun! That is
the first and very important lesson I have learnt. Paul Tillich an English writer said, “Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.”
Generally
the problem with everyone is that they think they cannot do something
or go to someplace because a friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/family
member is not there at that time.
So
what ?
Yes,
it’s cute that you and your best friend have this tradition of
hanging out together and so you don’t want to go without them. But
do you know the weirdly exciting feeling of watching a movie all by
yourself? The joy in buying a single ticket, sitting there and hear
yourself laugh forgetting that you came alone or clutching your
popcorn bag with fear for a scary bit (the popcorn which now is safe
from your friend’s ever poking hand!) In fact if you are a fan of
horror movies, they are best enjoyed alone!
Lunches
and dinners with the girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife are always
romantic and fun. You
go to certain places
because they hold special memories for you. For once, try going on
your own. Then maybe you can order what you always wanted to but
didn’t because he doesn’t like it or something which is her
favorite
but because she is on a diet (which is almost always!) you don’t
want to order it and make her feel bad. All of that is very sweet and
considerate but sometimes both of you should be allowed to be spoilt
for choice.
All
these people in your life are important to you, yes. But so are YOU.
However,
you don’t always have to go out somewhere. Solitude is perfectly
found even at home in doing whatever makes
you happy. It may be
snuggling in your favorite chair with a book or watching your
favorite TV show.
The
best way of being with yourself is to sit back and let your mind run
free. Psychologists
say that such inspection of one’s life in solitude gives an
opportunity for emotional self-assessment and helps get a better
perspective of you, going a long way in building a healthy
personality. At the end of the day who knows you better than yourself
and you can only get to know something by spending more time with it.
But
hey don’t get so lost in solitude that you start feeling that the
world revolves around you or worse, you develop the tendencies of a
serial killer! Just don’t forget to take out the much needed “soul's
holiday” every once in a while.
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